In the movie “What About Bob” the main character is struggling with a neurotic case of obsessive compulsive disorder as well as being a hilarious hot mess taking baby steps to making changes in his life.
Baby steps to the door. Baby steps to the hallway. Baby steps to the car.
It’s hilarious to see Bob literally take micro steps to change his life. But sometimes the baby steps actually can make large strides in taking us to our final destination.
I’ve had opportunity to speak with a brilliant professor from North Park University about her personal boundaries regarding social media. Being the tech-addict that I am, hearing a theological perspective about social media and Christ-like conduct was rather profound. I know Professor Judy clarified that this was her personal conviction and doesn’t want to project this on everyone, but there are definitely some interesting thoughts about what healthy engagement looks like.
I was so convicted after talking to Judy about incarnational relationships that I made a decision to not blog this week. No, no, I’m not giving up social media. However, I will admit that my husband and mom have spoken to me about being present. Not just physically present, not just 140-character conversations, not just status updates, but really present.
I will continue to engage in social media, blogging, vlogging, tweeting, posting, and sharing because I really do see intrinsic value in online communities. However, when online communities inhibit us from engaging in real life relationships, our boundaries are skewed.
Any takers willing to discuss what your boundaries are? Are you absorbs in online relationships while ignoring real-life conversations? Why do you use [or not use] social media?
Better yet, let’s answer Professor Judy’s barometer question: What does it look like to be fully present and not miss out on your real life while you’re also living your digital life on top of it?
I love a good WAB reference. ; )
WAB? What is that?
OH! What About Bob!!! Wow, you took movie geek to a WHOLE new level! 😉
There are totally boundaries, and I am totally intentional about my use of social media in terms of how much I am giving to those relationships – but I think people are too quick to assume the virtual world is a bad world. As someone who spent their teen years incredibly isolated, and has only a slightly larger box now, social media is a great way to build a community – to engage, to encourage, to learn and to find like minded people. We are no longer forced to conform to the world around us just because that’s where we are stuck – the internet opens up THE WORLD so we can find people going through the same stuff as us, who understand us, who share our dreams.
But, yeah there are healthy boundaries. I find it difficult to not look at my phone sometimes, sure, but not because I’m not present in this physical, actual moment, but because I have some key relationships that are only vocalised through emails, phones, twitter and if that’s the only way someone can contact me, I’m going to make sure I’m paying attention to that if they need me.
I’m not popular, I don’t have a following of any kind, but I do believe that even at this level, I have to be strategic about my social media use. I think too many people just jump on the band wagon and don’t think about what they want to put in and take away from these sites. Are you replying to every comment someone makes, are you not replying to any, do you follow everyone who follows you, do you actually read the people you follow. You have to be strategic if you want to get anything out of it.
It’s down to the individual using it properly (i.e. in the way that is right for them) in terms of whether or not it distracts you from your ‘real’ life.
And breathe….. 😉
LOVE you perspective, Suzanne!
Thank you. And equally for not mentioning that social media wasn’t around when I was a teenager!
I can agree it is important to have boundaries, but like the post above mine, I don’t think social media is totally bad. I definitely have been encouraged and been enlightened on many topics and been motivated in my Faith. In all things its just about boundaries and balance 😉
I love diff perspectives, so thanks for sharing.
-Destiny-
You’re welcome! Glad I could share it 🙂
Thanks for this video, really loved it!!
I periodically fast from social media when I feel like it is interferring with my relationships and especially my relationship with God. When I do this I find that it resets my boundaries, and I become more aware of how much time I’m spending on these outlets. Thanks for addressing this subject!
I know I’ve crossed the line when my thoughts start to come in short, witty, one-liners that makes me then think, “Oooo that would make a great status update.” (just to get comments and see how popular it makes me feel…)
Since I’ve crossed that boundary a lot with the purchase of an iPhone, I’m forcing myself into a different ritual before bed-reading an actual book, not playing scramble or words with friends before bed. Just reading a classic of some kind to calm my brain down from the frenzy.
Wow, that was refreshing to hear. Glad you are so open to hear different perspectives.
Thank you for posting!
Hmmmm….
As someone, due to events in my life, lived a “hermit-like” life for a few years…
Social media has been very useful in helping me express my thoughts and ideas in a safe forum. Of course I have to be careful which sites I express myself on. (Thanks for having a safe site Bianca.)
I even think it will help me reach out and connect with people, because I want to meet some of the people and go to some of the events I read about online. It’s helping me see there’s a life out there that I want to be involved in and not just sit here in my desk chair in front of my laptop or on my phone texting….
(It may even help me venture out to an event with someone named Bianca as a speaker!!! 😉 )
Great post!
As the mother of a dozen children, I definitely have to set limits on social media. Even with only 1/2 the kids still at home, I must focus on being present with my kids and my husband.
Twitter . . . haven’t gone there yet. Don’t really know why I need to have people follow my every move.
Pinterest . . . oh my. I know I would LOVE to do pinterest, but this is an area that I know I would spend far too much time on.
FB . . . while I do have huge concerns about the “need” to have thousands of “friends”, my husband and I do have a joint FB account in order to keep up with our adult children who live around the country and across the world. (It’s also a great way to get pics of our new grandbaby.) However, because it is a joint acct., my name is not out there for others to find. I have no need to reconnect with “friends” from 30 years ago in high school. We keep our “friend” list very small and prefer to work on face-to-face friendships.
Blog . . . oh yes. My personal favorite. This, too, is an area that I must consciously work on to make sure that my time priorities are kept in line.
None of these social medias are bad in and of themselves, but it is very important that people put more time and attention into “real life” face-to-face friendships, than virtual friendships.
Keep talking about the tough topics. You are an encouragement not only to the younger crowd, but to us “older ladies” too.
Mama D.
PS: My daughter loved to hear you speak at CHIC. 🙂