More than plot discussion or cinematic direction, I was struck by one scene that had less to do with the plot line of Katy’s life than a reveal into my deepest fears. How do we raise the next generation to engage in culture while not being entrenched, marred, or swallowed by culture?
I grew up in a house where we couldn’t watch cartoons like the Smurfs, listen to secular music, or watch movies with higher than a PG rating. Warnings about the world and the enemy frightened me enough to believe that one of Gargamel’s spells over the Smurfs would work on me if I ever watched an episode.
Though not as legalistic and enforcing as Katy’s parents, my parents aimed to shield their children from being sucked into what the world had to offer.
In one scene of interviews, Katy, her brother, and her sister light-heartedly discuss what it was like to be raised in the Perry house. In her words, everything was about God. The statement was laced with frustration, not freedom. She and her siblings vocalized frustrations about what life was like living in a Christian bubble. Legalism and life intertwined on the movie screen in candid discussions about the church, family, and ministry life. In their faces I saw the cry of many inside—or now outside—of the church.
Her parents had the best of intentions and wanted only the best for the children God entrusted them with. But where’s the balance? Better yet, what does balance look like?
In Katy’s case and many others, freedom of choice and the lure of the world was more appetizing than hygenitized music and holy huddle gatherings. The home videos of her life as a child made us privy to the intimate conversations with her parents that gave insight to who she was and why she rebelled. As a pastor’s kid and purveyor of pop culture, I cringed watching the shift from church kid to pop icon and the dissipation [or dilution] of her faith.
Today is a new day and there’s a new generation of women and men who are making their way in the world trying to be in the world but not of it. Smurfs and Lucky Charms no longer have the magical allure they once did and I no longer have to hear my mother lecture me about the lyrical choices of NKOTB.
But the question remains: How do we train up a generation to be socially relevant, culture-shapers, while encouraging biblical literacy and morally minded decisions for those in the next generation?
Throughout the documentary I saw a women who’s voice represents so many in our generation and the next. But without filters, balanced insight, and biblical Truths, who will lead the charge of what it looks like to be in but not of?
What are your thoughts? Who is training and speaking life into this next generation about Truth, life, and freedom? What are some balances you’ve personally found for your own life?
I knew it! I predicted a Kate Perry blog insipred post! 🙂
Oh, you know me so well! 😉
Thanks for this post, Bianca. I had this topic in my mind and I’m looking forward to the responses.
What you are your response, girlfriend? Hahahaha! 🙂
My parents did their best to keep me in a God-loving-God-fearing bubble, but I made my own [bad] decisions and even left the church when I got to college. I had biblical teaching, but my faith had been spoon-fed which meant I was easily shaken. I returned because I learned the not-so-glamorous way that my heart yearned for God. So I came back.
I hope that somewhere deep, deep inside Katy, she realizes that she loves Him because she knows who He is. Or at least they’re acquaintances.
The Word doesn’t come back void… Right? =/
The glint of hope I saw was when she declared that she still does have a relationship with God… she’s just working it out. I’m going to post her movie poster they passed out at the opening above my desk so I can pray for her. Hahahahaha! Yes, I’m a dork.
I was as you so disturbed to hear her talk about being raised in a Christian home and then to see the trailer of her movie. I am not opposed to her colored hair and unique style until it becomes sexually offensive with her spinners on her breasts and the such. My 9 yr old was excited to see her movie and assured me that she was a Christian. I explained to her that she was a Christian but seems to have walked away from following Jesus and it shows by her inappropriate dress.
It’s very hard these days to shelter our children from the magic and sexual inuindos that are in most movies. My 22 yr old daughter, a pastor’s kid, never watched Disney or was allowed to listen to secular music ever. When she turned 18 she flipped and backslid or maybe she just “came out of the closet” so to speak and made it clear she wanted to test what the world had to offer. Through about 3 yrs of that I believe she is on the right track now and can say that God has been faithful to His promise in Proverbs 22:6
Much prayer and trust in the Lord is required to raise our children in this world. Never giving up on sharing the truths of God’s word to them when they are young and when they are 22+ whether they like it or not.
My 9 yr old daughter is being raised the same way…church, the Word, fellowship, ministry, prayer. She on the other hand watches almost every Disney movie and Disney TV. I am constantly monitoring and explaining to her the things that are true and the things that are lies and the things that are deceiving us in these movies. She knows what I approve of her watching and what I don’t.
We will see how this one turns out…she is a whole new ball game. But I know that Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever so I will continue to input into her a passion for the things of God…to teach her that the world that seems to be free is really bound and lost.
Prayerfully,
Patricia
I was mocked and criticized for sheltering our daughter, from many worldly things, while she was growing up. I would explain to my “critics” that while yes, she was not allowed to listen to certain music artists and watch any movie above a “G” rating(unless pre-approved) until the age of 14, i knew my daughter better than they did and knew her sensitivity level. I was raising my daughter in an “age appropriate” style.
At 14, i let her watch her first X-File episode, “The Post Modern Prometheus”, because it was thought provoking and we did talk about it, afterwards. My daughter listened to Classical music, Ella, Louis, Dean, & Frank, the Beatles and Beach Boys, some C&W and read some wonderful classics of literature. She was not deprived. As she grew, i would introduce different music, books, movies, etc…to her, in an age appropriate manner.
The most important questions for which she would need to give an answer, “What do you believe” and “Why do you believe it”, were what we gave time to, amidst her studies.
My daughter is involved in ministry at church, she is a student at California Baptist University, and was married to her best friend on Mother’s Day, this year. By her own admission, it is her faith in God, that sustains her.
I am blessed! <3
LOL! Well, ok then!
This is something I struggle with – my son is still really young and part of my family is more wordly than Godly.
My parents sent me to a Christian school but never followed up on those teachings at home – I was confused for the longest time!
I know my job as a Christian mother is to live the word at home and be my sons example of in but not of the world.
This parenting thing is MUCH tougher than I ever imagined! We have 2 boys ages 9 and 12. We strive to lead them in God’s ways and make decisions based on our convictions, which is not always popular, even in Christian circles. My husband comes from an extremely legalistic background and he walked away from church until he met me. He never knew the gospel message could be positive and filled with grace. I was raised by a single mom who did the best she could in spite of having cancer for 11 years. She was constantly on her knees for me, especially during my teen years. She allowed me to do some things that I know were hard for her. God used those things to show me the emptiness of the world and that true fulfillment and satisfaction come only from knowing Him. I surrendered to Him at 18. As a parent we want to control everything and I think it is imperative that we stay in prayer for our children and continually seek God’s wisdom in raising them. My greatest desire is for my boys to follow wholly after God but there is a battle for their souls. Sorry this is lengthy, but such a good topic and one that “hits me where I’m at”. BTW, I don’t think you’re a dork for praying for her!
As the mom of 2 young adult Christian women living in the culture you just described, as I look back on their growing up years, Dan and I didn’t shelter them from the world, when they arrived at the age of awareness we allowed secular music in our home and Christian as well, they saw the “Harry Potter” movies because we could have dialogue about them; we exposed them to Biblical teachings at home and tried to be as good as an example as parents as we could, and because I work outside my home we overcompensated with solid church attendance and christian school, and I talked about God as much as time allowed; but knowing that we had to live our faith at home above and foremost, and at the same time exposing them to the knowledge of different lifestyles and beliefs, talking about sex, drugs and alcohol and being very honest about the world we live in and coupling that knowledge with a loving God but a jealous God. We discussed topics the church didn’t. Because of this dialogue they understood that they were different, but in no way better than anyone else and that their purpose in the world was not to judge but to love and accept others.
I believe that as parents we need to expose them to the truth so they can recognize the counterfeit, and not shelter them from the world. We need to be examples and live out our faith, pray fellowship and personal Bible study. Children need to see this and prayerfully when they step out into the world and meet others who are so called cool will not feel the peer pressure and fall away. I believe more than words this generation wants to see lives that “do what Jesus said” other than just say. I pray continually that my girls will stay close to God, because I don’t know what adversity they will face in the future.
Honestly, as a Christian parent, it definitely is a fear of mine, but one I try not to let Satan get ahold of. I feel it’s our job to raise our children to love God more than anything else … and that’s what life’s about. As I am finishing reading through the Bible, I see more clearly that God didn’t make us to glorify ourselves, but to glorify him in everything we do. Now, to get our kids to understand that … hard.
I was raised pretty legalistic… same things as you said. Barely could watch movies, no dancing, etc. I’m not like that … because I love to dance 😉 But I do believe in guarding their hearts and minds … and that comes in what they watch, hear, etc.
However, I was never (that I remember) taught WHY we do those things … just don’t do them. So, I’m trying to teach my kids about the whole big picture … why we’re here. We’re aliens and not supposed to be of the world. It’s hard … I wouldn’t want to go to school everyday. But honestly, my daughter (almost 15) is showing me how to be an amazing teen … even if we have our headbutts … She loves reading blogs from you and others that are trying to teach how to live a godly life. And even when it’s hard, she is pursuing God. Will it last, that’s between her and God, and honestly the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through.
No one said it would be this hard! Not sure what God was thinking giving me four kids! LOL!
Thank you for being a light. I don’t want to be legalistic; however, I have read what God expects of us … and it’s not supposed to be easy, and it’s not supposed to be of the world … even when we live in it.
By their fruits you will know them … 🙂
I love that both you AND your daughter read the blog! I want to squeeze you both 🙂
I was raised in a luke-warm christian home and was taught that people that go to church are hypocrites and attention-seeking manipulative people only out to get ahead in life with the appearance of a godly life. Now that I’m 32, mother to 2 young beautiful girls, I’m in church and very active in it. I love our church. I love the Christian culture. I feel so far behind the curve though – not really knowing the bible as everyone else does. My girls know who God and Jesus are. I love to hear their prayers and love seeing their love of God spill over to others all around us. I do fear that I’m raising them in the opposite extreme that i was raised in, and that when they’re my age they will be on the Katy Perry end of the spectrum. I do my best to listen to current music that I feel is appropriate, and instead of teaching them to do things FOR God, I try to teach them how to live based on God’s instructions for our lives. I pray that by being a good example to them and keeping an open mind and open communications with them, that they’ll be confident to come to me with their opinions and questions as they become immersed into the world around them.
Such a hard topic. As a parent of 3 young adults, two of which have walked away from God at the moment I have struggled with this. I tried my best to walk that line and looking back it seems I was too lenient with the boundaries sometimes and maybe too tough other times? And it’s not just about the boundaries, but what we say about them and how we reflect Christ in our own life. And the truth is no matter what we do, we can’t protect them from everything. Every kid has to struggle at some point with truly making their faith their own. I know that and I struggled and walked away for awhile myself. All we can do is do our best, pray a lot, and continue to know that God is still pursuing no matter where they are at this moment. I know that I’ve messed up in places…just praying and believing that God can redeem all situations. I know He did and still is within me…
The verse I kept thinking about was Proverbs 22:6 and how it talks about if your child is trained the right way, he will not depart from it. I just pray she finds her way back one day! What an awesome testimony she would have!
Unfortunately, the world is always going to be appealing; the devil makes it that way. We have to make God appealing, not with more strobe lights in the church, but through our individual relationship with Him. God is real, not fake; He is alive now, not dead. I want to show people that, not force it on them.
I know there’s so much more we can do, this is my two cents 🙂
I often find that when we’re shielded too much – we tend to desire what we can’t have. Instead of telling our kids NO, you can’t – we tell them what’s involved with certain decisions and that we might not approve of decisions our kids might make, but we wont forbid them. I know quite a few families that sheltered their kids SO MUCH from the world that they weren’t allowed to talk to ANYONE that didn’t go to their church (even the next door neighbor kids) they weren’t allowed to watch TV or listen to music unless the parents provided it for them. Those kids, when they grew up, decided to try EVERYTHING their parents “forbid” them from doing. They felt they missed out on life and went off the deep end.
I guess the way I see it – God didn’t put us in a bubble, he put us in the world, knowing there were dangers and gave us free will. I think it’s just up to us to give our kids as much information and support as possible and hope they make the best decisions for themselves. AND we NEED to make mistakes – that’s the only way we learn.
It’s a difficult subject..but I think that yes..balance and teaching self-control will be my goal… teaching my children that yes there is a world out there and that we can be a part of it..but we don’t have to be like it…
How is it that you can teach God’s Word, yet so proudly flaunt the fact that you went to see Katy Perry’s movie? I don’t get it. Do you WANT young girls to go see it too and be influenced by her? Psalm 101:3 says, “I will set nothing wicked before my eyes.” Everything she stands for is wickedness (sexual perversion, just one example)… can you please tell me how you justify this? You are so stuck on being “culturally relevant”, you don’t mind if that comes at the cost of compromise. In fact, you are entertained by such filth.
Hi Kristy,
Thank you for your honest opinion. Unfortunately we don’t agree on what is compromise, but I do value your opinion. I didn’t advocate for anyone to see this film, nor did I advocate her music. Her story was of interest to me because of her church background (as was the same with Justin Bieber).
This was a post about how we can equip the next generation of Christ followers to put up filters to your noted “filth.”
Again, thanks for your honesty. I value and appreciate how we can be united as followers, but different in convictions. 🙂
Kristy,
We have to know both sides of it. We have to know heaven and hell. If you go into studies of apologetics you learn about other religions so that you KNOW about everything.
As a mom of a 9 year old I think I could benefit from learning about Katy’s story and why she has turned away from God. I don’t know what a functioning balance looks like and I could quite possibly learn something very valuable from her experience – maybe about things I should reconsider doing or not doing.
At the end of the day God wants Katy back and should she come back to her first love her “filth” will be like gold when it comes to her testimony. For now, we can only pray for her.
And just for the record, my 9 year old wants to see her movie but we told her no.
Erika, I don’t think it is necessary to watch a perverted movie in order to learn about hell. Nowhere in scripture are we instructed to partake in sinful entertainment for the sake of “learning”. In fact, the Bible tells us to turn our eyes away from looking at worthless things, to think on things that are pure, etc. That’s straight from God’s Word, not my own personal opinions. I am a parent too, and I know that the Bible itself teaches us how we are to bring up our children… we are to bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord… as Christians, we are to protect our children from the influence of the world. We don’t need to watch Katy Perry’s movie in order to know she walked away from God… nor do we need to watch it to know how to raise our children. God’s Word is enough.
Thanks for this post Bianca. I too have cringed when I’ve heard stories of how legalistic Katie Perry’s parents were, and how this obviously led to her rebellion. I have three children between the ages of 9 -14 and I daily have to ask God for wisdom of these things. We do watch movies and listen to secular music, and we’re just careful to be discerning. There have been many times that we will turn off a song on the radio with inappropriate lyrics and same for movies. We feel intentional though about not over sheltering them, because I’d rather expose them to worldly stuff while they’re in our home and be able to talk about it and what it means to live as a Christian and to pray about issues together that come up.
Bianca,
What a subject- wowzers. My 9 year old is 9 going on 13… it’s scarey. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to overload her on God that she’s like okay, I’m sick of him and I don’t even KNOW him (yet).
I don’t know how to balance yet but I know that I need to make sure that I raise her in Christ and not in the church. Raising her in the church will create a modern day Pharisee (fan) and I need her to learn to LOVE Christ (become a follower) and this is where my struggle begins. I don’t want her to just ACT right, I need it to come from her heart. For now, I see that she has a tenderness for the homeless so we go out and talk to the ones in Montebello- she knows them by name and we feed them sometimes on the weekends. I remind her that Jesus was homeless and that just like her God has a tenderness in his heart for the homeless. I remind her that when she goes out there to them that she is doing God’s work and that he loves them very much.
She does overload on Disney Channel and Disney music but she also loves Lecrae & David Crowder Band, etc and there is dialogue about everything. She goes to Sunday school and learns a lot about the Bible but I don’t feel she is really applying things to herself -but duh, she’s only 9- so we talk a lot at home. I pray to God constantly for guidance because I wasn’t raised in a Christian home… God just kinda pulled me out of the jungle.
So, since I could probably write a 25 page paper on this I will basically leave it at this. I can’t shelter her from the world because I need her to stand strong but to know that she stands strongest when God is with her. We talk A LOT and I’m in the process of getting us to DOING more so that she knows that we are God’s hands doing his work and enjoying it and doing it out of love. I just wish I knew how to make her fall in love with Him… but for now I can only help Him woo her by using the tenderness in their hearts that they have in common.
If Katy says she is a Christian and has a relationship with Jesus, even though she’s “working on it”.. I think that is more honest than many self-professed Christians are without a true relationship with Jesus. Sometimes, being a Christian is hard, and equally hard is finding your faith in your own life, personally and with validity.
And also.. my comment was more in response to the other comments on this page than the actual post, which I thought was good 🙂 Per usual 😉
Since I don`t have any children I don`t feel qualified to wade into the discussion. But, I just wanted to say, Bianca, you`re not a dork!!!…..we all should be praying for Katy Perry….just sayìn`
To everyone who is reading this, I highly recommend the book “Lies Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free” by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Great post, Bianca! You always keep us hopping with your thoughts and challenges.
Wanted to let you know . . . my 15 y.o. daughter, Hosanna, will be at the conference in TN that you will be speaking at next week. So, don’t be surprised if a kind-of-quiet young teen comes up to introduce herself. 🙂 She is so excited to hear you speak!
(You can see her picture on my blog header.)
Hope you are doing well!
Laurel
mama of 12 (ages 10, 10, 12, 13, 15, 19, 21, 23, 23, 25, 26, 28)
I think Katie Perry (although I haven’t seen the movie) is a prime example of what happens when you overly restrict children – they will rebel because you place such rigid rules around them without what they consider a good enough reason. They are left with no choice but to go and experience the things they have been sheltered from to find out for themselves. Don’t give a good enough reason for a child not doing something and it will just encourage their curiosity. “Don’t play with knives or you will hurt yourself” is pretty self explainatory. “Don’t listen to secular music because it is doesn’t glorify God” will leave most children replying “so?”
I think the most natural thing for parents to want to give their children (above the obvious) is what they feel they lacked from their childhood. You see so many times, parents who grew up poor and find themselves financially free, believing that their children should want for nothing and so showering them with the newest toys, the most expensive clothes etc. We don’t want our children to experience the thing that pained us most in our own childhoods.
So I kind of like the fact that this generation of Christian parents are largely from families who restricted their exposure to the world during childhood. And this generation of leaders too. Because, largely, they are ones that have been out and experienced for themselves the freedom and have found their own relationship with God that enables them to make choices. God needs people who can reach out and be relevant to society while still serving Him and His will instead of complying to the religious stereotype of being ignorantly appalled with everything they consider to be of the world.
Obviously, I don’t have children or anything relevant to this post, but isn’t open communication and example the way to lead or is that just my niavity? Being honest about what we believe, what the world has to offer, not contradicting what we say with how with live, being transparent about our failings and trusting that the education and example we are giving the next generation is enough to steer them right is surely the most we can do. And waiting with open, gracefilled arms when they make their own mistakes. Some people learn by making mistakes, regardless of how well they are taught and, generally, those are the people who will hear ‘don’t do this’ as a challenge.
I don’t know, I just thing that a Christian needs to be able discern for themselves what they need to be putting into their minds otherwise you are just enforcing religious rule instead of encouraging relationship. The Bible is pretty clear on which God wants. Didn’t Jesus spend His time reaching people where they were and calling us to do the same?
My answer in a nutshell: we are all individuals. Parents are guides, trainers, waymakers. Parents set the path as best they can(biblically). They shape, mold, so children can grow into a certain direction, however, it’s not a complete guarantee whether children choose to continue. It sounds overly simplistic, but someone has to be the grownup;) What I do see is eventually kids return to their ‘roots’. With the help of having their own children, another layer of adulthood will be added to their understanding:) It’s not karma, but I like to call to call it planting & harvesting in life…eventually we eat the fruit(good or bad) and look at our parents & say, “I should have listened.”
Me and My teenage daughter are planning on going to see this too… because it will open a dialogue for us to discuss legalism and the reality of what her generation is facing. The discussion I am praying for that opens will be
Her thoughts on how we parent?(i am NOT asking for her approval on how to parent- but do want to know her thoughts on what we restrict)
My thoughts on how easily you can backslide.
Her thoughts on how she thinks Katy Perry has backslid and what she can do to not fall into the same trap.
My thoughts on my fears for Her as she faces a generation saturated with with filth
As a Pastors wife (yes some of you breath) for ME and MY daughter this is something that I am praying will open up a REAL conversation. Another example to Her to let Her know.. Im not dumb. I see whats happening out there. And as much as I would love to ignore it and act like I can keep in her a bubble for the rest of her life. I cant. Nor would I want too. Now this is what I have chosen for ME and My daughter. I understand many christian parents will think this is wrong but what is right for some relationships is not right for others..I wont be sharing this with My friends or family… because honestly I know i will be judged for it.. which is chritistian hypocrisy which I could go on on about.. but ill save that for later.