I sat on a blue, velvet recliner and listened to my best friend articulately describe the pain she was feeling. Her dreams—in her words—were in a million tiny pieces.
She leapt through the air in front of thousands of people at the Olympic trials and landed in the sand just short of making the Olympic long jump team. That evening, surrounded by her friends, she grieved a loss.
During our conversation on the blue velvet recliner, I received word that a dear loved passed away. I stepped out of the room to take the phone call that decimated the remaining joy I had. At the same time Brianna jumped her last jump in Eugene, Oregon, my dear friend breathed his last breath in California.
In one moment, death overcame two people.
I steadied myself against a bookshelf when I heard the news and I began to cry. Immediately I began to pray; not because I was holy but because I had no ability to do consciously do anything else.
I laid in bed that evening with my hand covering my eyes in hopes that the darkness would cause my brain to shut off. In the stillness of the night, in the coolness of my room, I began think of all the scriptures I possibly could and then something happened—a switch if you will.
In the loss, in the death, in the million tiny pieces, I saw hope. Hope of a new beginning, of a new future, of life beyond, of the promises of His word, and hope that in death there is new life.
In the tiny million pieces of our life, I have hope and firm believe that God can, will, and does put our lives back together when we feel most broken. As Bri held the tiny million pieces of her dreams in her hand, I saw the beginning of something new.
The most dedicated and resilient girl I know held new in her hands. From death comes life. From loss comes hope. From broken comes beautiful. From letting go comes embracing.
This too shall pass. It has to. It always does. But when it passes something new will form. Until then, embrace the beautiful brokenness and hold onto joy even when there is loss.
For Brianna and Petey, new is where the journey begins.
This is a little eerie considering I just lost my brother on Friday, but full of truth & God’s goodness. It’s cliche, but I’m holding onto the promise that God works ALL things together for good to those who love God & are called according to his name… Sorry for your loss, Bianca 🙁
This is my first time commenting on your blog, but I have been reading it for months. This brought me to tears and I am so sorry for your loss of your friend and for your friend Brianna. What you said about believing God can, will and does put our lives back together is so true! When we don’t even know what else to do, God is there already doing it for us we just don’t even see it. Stay encouraged and thank you for sharing this!
In truth I’m a silent reader of your poignant words.
Despite my silence I devour every word. Look forward to every post.
I knew you were at the trials and every time it would flip by on the t.v (because it is impossible to actually stay on one channel in my house) I felt like I needed to pray for YOU not Bri…which I did also because it felt weird not to. So I said a quick silent prayer not really knowing why, but now I do.
Bianca im so sorry that you were hurting… that your friends were hurting. Praying for them and their new journeys.
Bianca: I don`t have a lot of words….just know my heart aches for your losses but also rejoices in your new beginnings…..and just know that I`m praying….
Carol
Please Congratulate Bri. for making it to the tryouts, its such an accomplishment! When I found out about Petey Sun. My heart sank to my stomach. He reached the finish line on earth and celebrated entrance to heaven. Praying for His family and also for your friend. I love this picture, check out those muscles! Thank God she has comfort in you and Jaz’s friendship. Please tell Bri. I don’t know her but I am SO Proud of her!
i love you. and i’m sorry for your friend and for all those that loved him.
We all have suffered or are suffering losses… as am I. Thank you for delivering a timely word, even through your loss, you are a beacon of light to a hurting world. I thank God for you. And your friend Bri…how amazing that she made it to the trials! Loss on any front is difficult, but I pray you both rejoice in knowing that you have one another to go through them with. Friends are like earthly angels that carry us across our Jordan’s.
Beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
Bianca,
I love your passion and how you are serving God and being a voice out in the world. The sudden death of Petey has made me realize we need to love more as Jesus did, and be there for one another, I am not just talking about the family of God, but those in the world who are lost and broken. Thank you once again for your words of encouragement, they are much needed at this time of sadness. Thank you for taking the call of Jesus and going out there and taking a chance in His name, I know others will be inspired and do the same. God bless you!
Bianca,
You’re a great writer.
-A
I’m so sorry but gland that u r strong and u have made the right decision just leave it to christ