Oh Internet, I can’t do it. I just can’t do it! Try as I may, I can’t pull off being a low-maintenance woman with emotional stability. Deep down inside I want to believe that I don’t need hair conditioner and my Temperpedic bed, but I do. And no matter how hard I try to keep my inner diva in the closet, she roars her ugly head at me while giving me three air snaps with attitude.
Some women can rock the I-just-threw-this-on look. Others can pull off the I’m-earthy-and-in-touch-with-the-hippy-inde-Anthropology-catalog vibe. I, on the other hand, hope for a hail Mary every time I open my closet, while praying something like, Dear SweetBabyJesus, I need a miracle. You parted the Red Sea and caused the lame to walk, I’m sure you can help me find an outfit today.
Statistical Percentages:
- 62.5% of the time, I can throw something together that’s half-way decent.
- The other 48.5% I end up on the floor of my room crying because I’m forlorn and forgotten in a cold, dark world.
- 100% of the time Matt has no clue what to do with me.
To solidify the insecurity I have that I’m a perceived diva, my coworker Sophie returned from Staples Office Supply with this tape dispenser for me…
Speaking of being emotionally unstable, today I’m presenting at the Catalyst West lab sessions. It’s a panel discussion on innovation and creativity and I’m totally nervous. Not only are the panel speakers absolutely amazing, today is one of those days that I have nothing to wear. I’m seriously on the verge of wearing my new tape dispenser as part of my outfit!
Please pray that the God who parted the Red Sea and enabled the blind to see will provide an outfit and all the right words to say. And if you don’t, my inner diva will roar her ugly head at you and give you three air snaps with attitude. 😉
Thanks for being my friend, Internet. I love you.
Hilarious!
Hey there’s nothing wrong with being a DIVA, by the way! It’s a compliment! 😉
Only in CA can you find something as creative as a hot pink high heel shoe tape dispenser! Awesome!
Don’t forget to pray for me! 😉 Lord knows I need it!
Note to self: Pray for Bianca.
Update a minute later: Mission accomplished! 🙂
Bianca sister.
Remember who this is about? Remember who called you? Yeah, the dude who parted the Red Sea. He has also equipped you. Fully. He is strong in you.
You got this cuz he’s already gotten it!
Love ya!
Preach it! That’s riiiiight.
Just so long as the tape dispenser isn’t the ONLY thing you wear Bianca, you’ll do just fine! 🙂
Bwahahahahaha! Guuurrrrll, no one wants to see that! No one.
You are hilarious!!
I’m praying for you today. You will do a fantastic job! I’ll be at Catalyst tomorrow and Friday.
What?! I hope I can see you! I’ll be around all day 🙂
You’ll do great! 🙂
Praying and laughing (with you!). 😉
Thanks, Steph!
Praying! You’ll do great because you’re already asking the right person for help:)
p.s. tape dispensers should never be a part of an outfit 😉 even if they’re cute & pink
Duly noted. Thanks for averting a fashion faux pas! 😉
I’m praying for you, Bianca! I recently discovered your blog and love it, because I really relate. Unfortunately, the inner diva that comes out in me looks more like the incredible Hulk! Replace Matt with “my family” and those statistics are 100% accurate in my life too. And tonight I’m leading a small goup for high school girls at our church. Not only do I feel totally unprepared and nervous, but I also have nothing to wear! His grace is enough for leading the small group, and hopefully that extends to my clothing as well…
Thank you so much!
I am so with you here sister! God will give you the words!
Girl you rocked it last year, and I know God will speak through you again this year. 🙂
Miss Fashionesta – you wouldn’t be there if you weren’t capable of being used. You’ve got this – you know you do.
And I’ve already given you my opinion on your fashion side and I stand by it. And we will talk about it in depth when I let you buy me coffee 😉
Bianca, I just want you to know that we love you right back, lady. So go strut that stuff and holla’ about being a diva till the world ends.
PRAYING FOR YOU!!! {and you’re welcome for the idea!}
All the cool people are at catlyst west right now.
And you are one of them.
Have no fear! Air-snapping diva is here!
You can wear that tape dispenser on your hat and rock it. Now go tell catalyst west about stories for Jesus!!!
Love you too 😉
~Meg
Was praying for you today B! So wish I could be @ CatWest!! Now I’m curious to what you wore 🙂 Have a great time!! xo
Still praying for you! 🙂
xo
I’m sure you were fabulous on the panel, as you are with everything you do through Him!
P.S. I have no room on my floor to curl up and cry because all the reject outfits land there first (although after a few days, it becomes quite a comfortable place to lay and feel sorry for myself and my unforgiving closet).