The lecture space was bigger than I needed it to be. The hotel carpet matched the hotel chairs in a very 1990s way. I had a podium, powerpoint presentation, and wireless remote ready to present information about storytelling, characters in our life, and how to author the season you’re in.
However, the formality threw me off. I had my iPad loaded with notes and bullet-points and color-coded references, but it all seems too structured. I stepped out from behind the podium and sat on the hunter green chairs neatly lined symmetrically along the hunter green carpet and asked a simple question.
What are you giving up to pursue ministry?
I think those attending the workshop thought it was a rhetorical question because silence was the answer I was given. But I—obstinate as I am—didn’t move on. I wanted us to really wrestle with the tension of what we daily give up in serving others. Our lives zoom past us with power walks, power lunches, and power naps like one huge PowerPoint presentation. Next slide. Next slide. Next slide.
Ministry doesn’t mean an occupation within clergy. Ministry actually means service unto others. That’s it. So remove any stigma that comes with thinking a life within ministry is being a professional Christian. Ministry is facilitating a small group. Ministry is befriending the lonely person at work. Ministry is taking the time to pray for someone. Ministry is the selfless things we do for others.
The deafening silence was broken with my response, I’m sacrificing being with my father for his 60th birthday today. I shifted in my hunter green chair as silence broke. One by one people were able to articulate what they were sacrificing.
I’m sacrificing extra time with my kids.
I’m sacrificing working out at the gym to mentor.
I’m sacrificing my Fridays to hangout with youth group kids.
We all give up something when we accept something. To accept the challenge of serving others means we are dying to parts of us. Sometimes it’s unhealthy but most of the time it’s realizing that it truly is more blessed to give than to receive.
Yes, I missed my father’s 60th birthday. However, I planned a pajama party for him the day before with all my siblings, my mom, and heaps of his favorite breakfast food. Ministry does mean sacrifice, but I fight for making sure it doesn’t mean compromise. I won’t compromise who I am or who I want to be for ministry. Yes, there are sacrifices—even painful ones—but finding a balance is imperative in giving back to those around you.
What are you giving up to pursue ministry? Are you healthy? Are you sacrificing or compromising? How do you find balance?
If nothing else, I hope we find ministry as self-sacrificing, yet life-giving. It begins with recognizing what we are giving up in order serve others.
For so many years, I sacrificed my health for ministry. It obviously was not healthy. Learning to sacrifice and not compromise is something I have to work out daily in my life.
Totally! So many pastors and friends have burned out because they haven’t taken care of themselves. This is a great learning lesson, Becky! Thanks 🙂
Helping others seems to be the big theme in everything I have read this week and in the message at my church this past weekend…To achieve our dreams, we must reach out and help others! I love reading your blog! 🙂
And I love reading your comments! It lets me know I’m not the only nutcase out there in the world 😉
Wow. Talk about taking time to reflect. Sometimes ministry does feel like a second job, but when I realize I get paid in stale chips and stinky hugs, hanging out with the cool kids and helping out the odd balls, and building friendships and building up future believers… That’s when I realize how rich I am.
Oh, and I give up my romantic Friday nights for movie nights watching Shrek and burnt popcorn in a room that is 15 below zero with a bunch of middle schoolers who refuse to appreciate Donkey’s supporting role to the free protagonist. Ah, the life of a youth leader.
LOVE IT!
RELISH the moments. Seriously. There would be times when I would drive home (after dropping off FIVE kids whose parents “forgot” to pick them up) and ask God WHY he had me there. Looking back, it was the best times of my life. I LOVED it! You’re so lucky… and so are they to have you!
That was supposed to be “green” protagonist….
God has been so good and gracious in showing me that my sacrifice is nothing compared to the work that is being done when Im obedient.
Sitting at the beach with the high school kids for the first time watching my husband interact with them, made me forget about the times I complained because he had to be at the church till midnight because someone needed to talk. How selfish.
This year my plans were an upgrade diamond, a renewing of our vows and a family trip to Hawaii because we are celebrating our 10 year anniversary. But the Lord showed me its about growing, serving and giving. So we will do mission trips, conferences and serving as a family.
But truth is, I have peace because I have a vision, that goes beyond my own sacrifices or material things, or selfish time. BUT I aint going to lie, I will be working on a lil something something for our 10 year! hahha
So what am I sacrificing? Minimal compared to the vision!
A-to-the-MEN! You will get blessed more than you can think or imagine. I promise. Your sacrifice has NOT gone unnoticed by our GREAT God!
Bianca,
I just wanted to let you know how much I love your blog. Praise the Lord for technology that allows us to become closer to Him.
I am single parenting an autistic boy and had to move in with relatives. Some of my dreams are on hold for now but I know this is my ministry.
Oh Lord, that IS ministry! My husband was a single parent and I saw the sacrifice he made for three years. Sheila, you have my word that I will be praying for you and your special son! Much love!
Well said!
🙂
I’m not sure I ever really appreciate the sacrifice of my youth leaders until I found myself dropping off kids after events and rescheduling personal plans for Winter Camps and Discipleship classes.
And yet I love it SO much. Thanks B 😉
Oh Unique! It blesses my heart to see the fruit of the years we all poured into you. I still remember going to your art show, our summer retreats, and borrowing your razor in Lake Tahoe. PS You exposed me to Venus razors and I LOVED them!
My boyfriend. For me it was sacrificing my boyfriend. Although he is christian, we do not have the same vision and if I was with him I would probably not be able to do all the community around my church and the homeless at skid row and other crazy things I am doing for the kingdom.
Although is supppeerr hard and I cry here and there, when I see what God is doing I rememeber that He has perfect plans and that sacraficing a relationship over salvation of people is just amazing, hard but amazing!
WHOA! This. Is. Huge.
Wow, great [but tough] decision.
I gave up ministry to be with Jesus! 🙂
Serving is great! Serving within and without church walls is a blessing but let’s just say I need to make a pit stop!
Great post! I’m always blessed by what you write here. Your question is challanging and has brought me to silence too. I guess when I think of ministry I have a stero type that is show be on a grand scale but it isn’t. God can and will use use within and without the surrunding of church walls.
How come I don’t see a summer serius on your calender?
Lastly, how does one get a hold of you? 🙂
Oh Lil! That was classic. Gave up ministry for Jesus = awesome. And hilarious.
You can text me or email me. But not at my ccmtb email… I don’t have that anymore.
I’ve noticed that when dealing in ministry I often times sacrafice my “in-crowd” appeal, meaning because I base decisions off ministry such as who I talk with, the things I say, what I won’t say, sometimes people don’t necessarily agree or totally understand. I might not choose to go certain places because I’m reminded about ministry and people, especially young people (I’m a youth leader), are watching what I do. So I just have to weigh out what’s important. A shallow opinion or changing someones life for the better.
And I love the note about differing between sacrafice and compromise.
Thanks for posting!
Totally get it!!! I had to make decisions when I was serving in ministry that some people didn’t understand. But I don’t regret it at all. Kudos to you, Carmaleta!
Compromise in guise of sacrifice sometimes gets beyond basic things to falling into sin.
I found myself asking same question in recent time, in my desire to help someone become a better person i have slipped/compromised on important God/biblical values which has in-turn altered my life in negative ways, now i am learning to be vigilante in not losing myself and my God values in an attempt to bring someone else to the faith.
As someone once said to me recently its better that the person be lost than you both go down together; which sounds selfish. but in the christian race, your standing need be sure before you can pull someone else up without you falling too in the process.
That’s right. You can’t lead if your compromising the core tenets of your life.
After 10 months of marriage I’m still learning balance. My husband and I both work full time jobs and are involved at a little church plant in Uptown Whittier. If you know me, I am soooooo not a morning person. I enjoy my late saturday nights and used to attend 4th service at CCM. My husband is a morning person and is good about going to bed early. He encourages me to get my rest not only for Sunday mornings (8 a.m.)but during the week as well. Sundays we go back and forth picking up my brother to come to church with us and take him home later. So with that said, I’ve had to learn to go to bed at a decent time and wake up early to be responsible. Balance? My doctor said I had to learn to relax so I had to learn how to schedule in rest and relaxation, helping the new mommies at church during the week, husband hang out time, friend time, chores…. the list goes on. I’ve learned not to compromise. I could go on forever but thanks again for a great read that makes one think and reflect!
Oh that silly word, “balance.” Who knows what that looks like?! I tend to referring to it as juggling more than balance. Sometimes we need to keep things in our hands while other stuff is up in the air. Maybe not advice that other women would give, but when you’re mothering, working full-time, cooking, trying to have friends, and sleep, balance is a foreign word! 😉
I give up my femininity for ministry. My wardrobe is full of dresses and skirts that are never worn because when I do wear them, I’m not taken seriously. When I act like a woman, I’m not taken seriously.
And, B, I’m so sick of it.
I want to feel like it’s safe to wear something other than jeans and a t-shirt. It seems like such a tiny issue, but it’s honestly breaking my heart.
What?! No way. I’m so confused.
Ok, maybe I’m over simplifying this [because I don’t know the full story], but why would you need to act like a man to be taken seriously as a woman? God didn’t make a mistake when he made you a woman, Tamara. 🙂 If you’re not acting/dressing like you choose, then you’ve empowered someone else to make you something you’re not. If your wardrobe is inappropriate or scant, then that’s one thing. But it’s you’re losing your femininity to lead with the boys, that’s another!
I agree. Working a lot in the streets has taught me that you have to dress a certain way in order to reach certain people HOWEVER I think we can enjoy our feminity at the right place and time- For instance I cannot go to skid row with a dress and hills or even with nice pants BUT there are times in other places when I can (yay! and I looveee it lol). It would be good where Tamara is coming from. Just sayaaiiinnggg…
I’ve worn jeans and a t-shirt every day for the last two years, pretty much. Any time I’ve deviated, I’ve been ignored when I tried to engage in tough conversations, and then afterward told that I should wear jeans and a t-shirt rather than a dress (even if tights are underneath it and a jacket over the top.)
Holy crap I needed to hear this. with both hubs and I in grad school and doing youth ministry and working elsewhere…its hard to remember what your initial priorities were. are. should be.
we’ll talk about this.