But most other times, I say what I mean and mean what I say.
Yesterday was one such time. I tweeted this:
If a man ain’t job a job, ain’t got any goals, and ain’t got a future, he ain’t the one for you. Marriage is for men, not boys.
Oh mercy! What did I do?! Oh that’s right! I spoke the TRUTH.
But sometimes the truth doesn’t want to be accepted. I’m sorry in advance for hurting people’s feelings, but I’m not sorry for speaking out what needs to be said. I’m tired of seeing girls settle for some guy who doesn’t have a job, doesn’t love Jesus, and doesn’t want to give up wearing Superman pajamas or getting fed by his mother.
Women were overwhelmingly supportive of the statement. The men—however—had their fair share of things to say about it.
- That’s sexist.
- Men, don’t listen to a woman who uses the word ain’t.
- Wouldn’t you be offended if someone said that about you?
- You’re brilliant at giving advice in the current economic climate!
- You should fight sexist double standards!
- What if I have two out of the three, but I don’t have a job. Am I out?
I know there are times of unemployment, life-change, and deep valleys of insecurities and I’m very sensitive to that. I know there are unforeseen circumstances or sickness or debt that make our dreams or employment just that: dreams. And of course there is grace in those areas; I’m not castigating or belittling men. I am, however, asking women to choose wisely.
If a man chooses live in his mother’s basement to “train and practice” Lord of War video games because he wants to be a professional gamer and a job will take him away from his dream, we might have a problem. If a man wants to persue a video gaming dream while simultaneously maintaining job, healthy relationships, and devotion to God, it’s different.
I’m not throwing stones, I’m shouting caution. When the American landscape of marriage is marred by 50% failure, we have a problem! It has less to do with wagging a finger at men and more to do with informing women that marriage is for grownups. If you a marry a child at the altar, don’t think you’ll make him into a man.
And to assuage any questions about my gender equality in dating relationships, I believe the same is true for women. See, I’m totally fair! 😉
Stones, comments, and opinions allowed,
B
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