Is he romantic, she asked in a sweet, schoolgirl way only a mother could ask. I laughed at the instant age reversal happening before my eyes as my 56 year-old mother swooned like a tween. I paused for a moment and thought about when Matt ran into the garage and carried up a heater into our bedroom so I could studying warmly in bed. Or the time Matt cleaned the entire house and organized the closet while I was away speaking. Or the time Matt took care of me when I was so sick death came knocking at my door. Yes, Mom, I confidently smiled, Matthew is incredibly romantic.
Why is this?
In a discussion with LV Hanson and Tenley Mozahn, from reality show The Bachelor, the discussion of romance and the perception it entails revealed so much about the female psyche. We are addicted to ideals and standards prescribed by Hollywood. Jack and Rose have an adulterous relationship on a sinking ship and we long for that. The Notebook made us swoon as two teens engage in a dysfunctional relationship for years. We want to be saved by an enigmatic vampire in Forks, Oregon who sparkles in the sun, but will leave us in a forest.
Yes, we want that. We believe that. We yearn for that.
In the most profound interview I’ve had in months, LV stated that porn is to men, what romance is to women. My instinct was to buck and negate such a fallacious remark—but was it true? Why have I watched six seasons of The Bachelor? Why did I want my first kiss to be at Disneyland? Why did I read Twilight in seven consecutive hours? Because the idea of romance is addicting. A cancer of sorts with tentacles creeping into cavities in the heart and mind, distorting healthy growth and sustained living.
Tomorrow I’ll be following up with the personal battle of romantic expectations I’ve had in the first couple months of marriage, but before I do, whether you are single, married, divorced, widowed, male, or female, what is YOUR definition of romance? Don’t pick up a dictionary or thesaurus! In YOUR words, define romance and state when you believe LV’s comment bears weight.
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