Slander kills three people: the speaker, the spoken to, and the spoken of.
Psalms 15:1-3 Lord, who may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill? He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks truth from his heart and has no slander on his tongue, who does his neighbor no wrong and casts no slur on his fellowman.
Can you remember a time when you made detracting remarks about someone? What was your motive in doing so? Why did you feel the need to smash someone’s character in the eyes of someone else? Did you envy her? Were you hurt by him?
Remember, slander is the revenge of a coward.
Since God has secured our plan in life and promised to avenge our wrongs, why engage in slander? The Greek word for slander is diabolos which means devil. Slandering is a diabolical act that the Lord hates. When we attempt to defame others with our evil words, we are planting seeds that will reap consequences.
When someone starts to talk smack with you, bank on the fact that they’ll talk smack about you.
Maturity is the best ally in moments of confrontation. One time I simply approached a woman in church and asked her to stop spreading rumors that we both knew weren’t true. When you disarm cowards with kindness and truth, everyone wins. Have you ever been slandered? How did you respond?
First of all, let me just say that one of the things I adore about your posts is that they are short and sweet, easy to read, and right to the point! I LOVE that!
Long ago I learned the lesson that if someone shares gossip with me, they're also sharing gossip with someone else ABOUT me. I have a very close family member who is a terrible gossip. I won't call it slander, because she'd never dream of spreading something that wasn't true, but it's still harmful. It's really made me not trust her, and that's sad because she's my only sister. A few months ago she sent me a text about trouble that some distant relatives were having. It was news I didn't need to know.
A few days later, she commented "You never responded to my text about such-and-such," and I simply replied, "That's because they're hurting right now, and they don't need us gossiping about them." I think she was shocked by my response, and of course immediately she professed that she's NOT a gossip and that wasn't her intent, but I know better.
This is a really great post. Thanks for writing it. It really gives me something to think about today!
Awesome! So glad we can learn from each other and share stories 🙂
I read two very similar verses last night… this is creepy! lol
I was having coffee with a good friend last night. She was venting with me about the lady at her church that is slandering her. Our final conclusion on the matter: to simply love her just as Christ loves her, at times loving her from a distance. I shared with her a similar experience and how I exposed the person slandering me, nipping it at the bud.
Absolutely! Nipping it at the bud solves everything and saves relationships.
PS Great minds think alike!
Oh this is tough. It seems like it's everywhere! And does so much damage!
ummmm for me, a co-worker is forever talking about evryone…so i just change the subject right away…which is why i don't think she says much very often….
Last week you wrote about food being your struggle….well I was going to comment and then I didn't…..reason being, my struggle is gossip. I'm a gossiper. I love hearing about the "lastest" on someone. I get a high from it. My intention is never to take the news and run with it to hurt someone but it's like I'm bursting at the seams until I find a friend and say "do you know what I heard about so and so?" Sometimes I am sharing happy news, but when I'm sharing the bad news, I know I'm only sharing because I'm insecure and seeing someone else's faults and flaws help me feel better about my own. I can probably say that this is THE thing that my husband dislikes about me.
What's worst of all is I KNOW how it hurts to be talked about and I hate to be the cause of anyone's hurting but as I said this is my struggle. I wish it weren't so, but yeah, there it is. Great post as always B!
Slander has devastated our family this past year. A threat made, and followed through with … false allegations made to CPS about child abuse … gossip and slander rampant throughout our church and our town … all based on lies … all based on a threat that my husband wouldn't buckle to … all devastating to our family …
Years ago, I did have a problem with the gossip issue. Then, I was shown clearly just what you said, "If someone is willing to gossip WITH you, they are probably going to gossip ABOUT you, as well." So sad.
mama of a dozen
TRUE! When people know you will not talk about others, they are less prone to continue doing it.
im in the middle of writing a post on slander too. im coming from the other side of the spectrum and i wanted to share the proper way on how to react/respond to gossip especially if your own name is being slandered.
i've been slandered and gossiped about so many times, from my child's father spreading nasty lies to people thinking i was smoking and questioning the pastors about my character of being in leadership… and i was even accused of having a "jezebel spirit" and trying to steal someone's husband once -yep talk about slander… LOL. (what's sad is this mostly happens in church rather than out of church)
in this given situation…we can always choose to react or respond. sometimes its so much easier to REACT and get mad.. and even being obnoxious and very confrontational as i've done so many times in the past (i joke around that before Jesus i used to be a flipina-chola LOL)
i've had to learn the hard way though, especially with the false gossip about me trying to "get with someone elses husband" and i had to choose to RESPOND by prayer and trusting in God… and not even try to get back at those who said some stuff about me… and GOd was sooo faithful to redeem the situation, my name and my integrity. "Revenge is His says the Lord".
my family is going thru this very thing this week. It is sooo sad. It is dividing our family. ); I can't go into detail…however this post is encouraging…..God sent me here because this is what I needed to read in the midst of all this division among us. );
Ugh, gossiping is something I have been working so hard on not doing the past couple of years. I have seen and experienced the hurt it causes. It's so hard when people are spreading lies about me or even truth in a hurtful way. My first instinct is to get out there, defend myself, and make sure everyone knows the real story. It has been a test on trusting God and relying on Him alone. Sticks and stones can break bones, but words can devastate the very soul of a person.
So true. Since being convicted about this and working on cutting it out of my own life, I've noticed how some of my friends have greatly cut back on talking about other people to me. I've also noticed those friends who never say anything bad about anyone. So appreciate them and their example!
I've been both the Slandered and ashamed to say the slanderer, My Sister in laws , yes plural have accused me of just about anything under the son, even to claim that My Husband and My children were not his…uhmm..excuse me, yes they are, this is just the tip of the ice berg. Yes, gossip and slander does hurt, it even destroys. Although, I do encourage my Husband to contact His family, he does not.
Before Christ, I did bite back and hard, so I bit one of my Sister in laws hard and for that I am sorry, but I felt compelled to defend my children.
My Husband knows nothing of of the "claim" and I want him to know nothing about it, it would crush him.
I have a friend who feels that she has to know ALL the details about any situation and feels as if I am in need of knowing all the details of people I don't even know, even with people I do know…I try to derail the conversation, I tell her, there is nothing I can do about it, that is not of my concern. I think she is getting the hint..I HOPE. But then, something happens at Church and she thinks I KNOW it ALL…No I don't, that is none of my business, If you want an answer as to why this is happening, then call a Pastor.
Gossip: Does it make you feel good?
Gossip: Does it edify God?
Gossip: Does it add quality to your day?
Gossip: Is it to benefit you?
Gossip: Does it hurt the person?
Gossip:Do you get excited about hearing gossip about someone?
Gossip: It kills.
Gossip: It Destroys
Gossip: Its dark
Gossip: Its ugly
Gossip: It Hurts
Gossip: Causes Loneliness
Gossip: Causes Mental Anguish
Gossip: It is of the Devil
Dear Lord, please put a brick in my mouth when I start to do this horrible thing, cause me to lose my voice, cause me to remember how hurt I feel when this happens to me.
Thankyou Bianca for touching on yet another tender yet important topic
Yes, I've done it to….
I may have been slandered or I may NOT have been slandered…it doesn't really matter, I know who I am and most of all God knows, so who cares. If people talk about me/you, they live boring lives and they need me/you to spice it up.
This is such a good post. And tough to read. I think it's easy to find ourselves on BOTH sides of this issue at any given time in our lives. 🙁 I remember reading through the Proverbs years back and it felt like the ONLY thing Proverbs talked about was holding the tongue and the righteousness of the silent. I think I spent more of that year not talking. 😉
wow. your first sentence is an entire sermon!
Thank you soooooo much! I really needed this.
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