Dearest Matthew,

365 days later, I’m still here. Endless sunsets, thousands of heartbeats, millions of seconds passed, I’m still here. Through meltdowns and delayed flights and missed expectations and fits of laughter and moments of tears, I’m still here. 12 months, 48 weeks, 365 days later, I’m still here.

One year ago today I stood on cobblestone steps of a Santa Ynez vineyard and vowed to be your wife and do life with you until my last, dying breath. Quite dramatic sentiment from a seemingly stable woman, but we both learned  this year that I’m needlessly dramatic and wildly entertaining.*

I’m still here. Through fall, winter, spring and summer, I’ve remained faithful to my promise to you before God and our friends. To never leave you. To be by your side in sickness and health. To love you in richness and poverty. To honor you in my brokenness. To never leave you when I want to run. I’m still here. And I’m not leaving.

We’ve endured hardship and pain and loss and failure. We’ve survived children and fights and dinner parties and travel. We’ve made dinner and friends and dreams and a home. We’ve succeeded in communication and work and life and love. Through it all, we’re still here… 365 days later.

September 7th, 2010

The day I’ve been waiting for has come and I’m so excited. Excited because I know. I know you are the man I not only love, but the man I need.

You have extended grace and forgiveness. You have shown me love in spite of fault. You have displayed strength in my weakness, culpability in my failures, and organization in my creative chaos.

Today, in the presence of our Almighty God, amazing family, and astounding friends, I vow promises to you and have a great counsel of witnesses to hold me accountable.

Matthew Ray Olthoff, I promise to love the Lord my God with the totality of my being; with all my heart, soul, mind and strength…

promise to never give up on the quest of learning and discovering you…

promise to love you even during the times I may not like you…

promise to be committed to honest communication…

promise to remember to put the tag of the fitted sheets on the side nearest to the wall and never load the dish washer because we both know I’m horrible at both those things…

promise to let you make the executive decisions for our family, though I will always give you my opinion…

promise to work on my bad submission skills (we both know I’m sub par in this area)…

promise to be by your side living in an apartment or in a mansion, riding in public transportation or in a Lamborghini, eating hot dogs or filet mignon…

But most importantly, I promise you before our Almighty God that I will NEVER cheat on you for forsake our vows of fidelity. I will NEVER leave you. I will NEVER leave our family.

Your home will be my home.

Your bed will be my bed.

Your children will be my children.

Your God will be my God.

Matthew, please take me to be your wife and I vow to be your best friend until the day that I take my last breath. I love you.

I’m here. 365 days later, I’m still here. And I’m so glad I am.

Your wife,
Bianca [aka “Peggy the Peg Leg”]

* [Remember the time I locked myself in the closet because I didn’t want to talk to you? Or the time I cried because I thought you didn’t buy me a Christmas present? Or when I fell to the floor and “fainted” because you didn’t love me enough to live?]

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