We sat around her brown table, sipped on chilled drinks, and laughed at how much of our life has changed. In our busy worlds the cosmos graciously aligned and allowed my mom, my sister, and me to all have a small window in our day for an impromptu lunch. I made the food [I’ve always been the responsible caretaker], Mom drove into town [in good health and spirits], and Jasmine… well, Jasmine looked good [it’s apparently very hard being beautiful]. We caught up on life, banalities of everyday living, and remembered.
We rememebered. Together.
A small power we possess in life is the ability to look back and remember what has been survived, what has been conquered, what has been saved. I drove away from our quick lunch remembering…
…remembering the room I shared with Jasmine
…remembering the glasses I wore and headgear Jasmine donned when we were 12
…remembering the empty refridgerator and barren pantry
…remembering the woman who miraculously made us sugarless oatmeal for breakfast and tomato soup for lunch
…remembering the moments mom would scream at us for fighting and make us hug until we lost our hate
…remembering the parchment paper prayer list hanging on our living room door
…remembering the time Jasmine almost killed me by throwing an antique stapler at my head
…remembering the pain of cancer and the joy of remission
…remembering the loneliness of dorkdom and the community of family
…remembering the power of remembering
As I was gathering my stuff to leave, I casually mentioned that no matter our given circumstances in life, I don’t want to care. I don’t want to care about what I have or what I want. I want to live a life free from finding value in the opinions of other.
Then Jas said something profound, almost at profound as her overdone earrings, B, we need to care. We have to care! We care so much that we don’t have to care and to live our lives focused on the future while remembering our past.
To know where we are going, we need to remember where we are from. Where are you going? Where are you from?
I love this- first, because it's true, and it reminds me of sweet times with my own people, but secondly- becuase you called your sister's overdone earrings profound. Love it. 🙂
Happy Friday!
I love everything about this! I love what Jasmine said…and that's how I've lived most of my life. I didn't have the easiest childhood, and still not the easiest adulthood, but I didn't let the abuse and obstacles I experienced in my childhood stop me from having the best life and future I could have – inspite of being told as child that I wasn't smart or good enough. There were many things I had to deal with and experience that no child should have ever have to see or deal with, but I wouldn't change a single thing about my past. I've come a long way in loving and embracing the person I am meant to be…and have yet to become. I look forward to the future God and the Universe has in store for me because I plan to go for it full force (obstacles and all) with the strength and determination so strongly within me.
Thank you for this Bianca….so so much.
Anywhere but here.
Every thought, every word, every emotion that you share is a wonderful gift!! If I could give you a hug every day, I would!! Thank you Bianca, for shining God's extra bit of light down on me each day through your "word"! God Bless
I love how you put this on Twitter, "lunch with a diva and my mother." If I called my sister a diva, she'd knock me down, further proving my point, but anyway. Love the post!
I was literally birthed in hardship. There were many obstacles to overcome, but by the grace of God my mother accepted Jesus, and began taking me to church. I am so thankful God called and my mom answered! Now I want to share that same call of God with children who are currently facing hardship (adults too, but I love ministering to kids).
Aww, sweet post, Bianca!
I sympathize with you on this memory of yours… "remembering the loneliness of dorkdom and the community of family"…because I was a dork too! 🙂
So to answer your questions…."Where are you going? Where are you from?"…I am going to accomplish great things for God in His name as He's promised not only me but all who believe in the Bible verse of Jeremiah 29:11 :)…I'm looking forward to His plans as they unfold and having the dreams of my heart come true starting with working full-time in writing and publishing (pray for me) 🙂 and where am I from? I am from a strong line of kind-hearted, strong-willed, good-to-know people who have work ethic as strong as their love for God. 🙂
I am from a business-minded mama who's the leader of her organization and an artistic papa whose paintings make people think he went to art school (he didn't, he works in the medical field) …I am doubly blessed with the business and artist talents. They are great parents who worked hard to provide the best for my brother and I and I am forever grateful for my parents and all the words of wisdom, sacrifice and love they poured into the development of the lives of my brother and I….I am also very grateful for my grandparents who had an equal share in raising my brother and I as they were our baby sitters…my grandfather was an Elder and Treasurer at our church so we spent a lot of summers at my grandparents' church helping in yard work or helping our grandfather count money and take care of business for the church….Good memories …Looking back over the years from who I was to who I am today, I thank GOD for giving me wisdom and understanding and helping me to realize how He's blessed us over the years and has always been there, our Savior, Lord, Redeemer and Friend.
🙂
Me, my overdone earrings, and my great hair THANK YOU. We think the salad you made was great, but needed a tad more salt. 😉
xxxo.
…remembering the loneliness of dorkdom and the community of family…that's where I'm from and where I'm at.
Thanks for this post x
Question: I know where I'm going but it seems like I'll need help getting there.. What do you do when no one is willing to walk with you?
And I can honestly say I cried when I read this… very well spoken and how do you figure your sister is prettier since you are IDENTICAL twins? 0.o
There’s a sercet about your post. ICTYBTIHTKY
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GOOD WORD, sista!
Watching twins talk to each other is so cool.
Great post! Glad you had a fun lunch with your sister and mom. Makes me miss my big girls … as they have all moved away. 🙁
Even at nearly 50, I wonder where I am going. I still have so many dreams to pursue … things to accomplish. I still am so very far from the woman that I want to be … the person that I want to be … the daughter of the King, that still feels like a pauper most days.
I recently wrote a post, "Who am I?" …
I know where I come from. I know where I want to be. But, sometimes I don't quite know how to get there.
Mama D. 🙂
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