From a human standpoint I can say I forgive you—but I’m not really sure I mean it. According to Webster’s Dictionary, forgive means to give up resentment against or the desire to punish; to stop being angry with; to pardon. Do I sincerely give up resentment?
We can’t dole out forgiveness until we believe we are truly forgiven.
When I can fathom the depth of God’s love for me, then maybe, juuuuuust maybe I can truly learn to forgive those who hurt me. Like Paul reminded the Colossians, as the Lord has forgiven you, you must also forgive (3:13).
Who do you need to forgive? Are you ready to forgive them the way God has forgiven you?
Its amazing how you can say so much in so few words…
Thanks, D 🙂
It's so hard to believe we are truly forgiven. One of the enemy's biggest weapons is that subtle little voice that says "God will never forgive that…"
Great post as always. What a gift God's given you to communicate truth to all of us!
I have thought that exact same thing, "God will never forgive that." Or worse, viewing grace as a dwindling bank account. God's grace never gets hit with a recession 😉
Thank you for posting this Bianca! I have trouble with forgiveness, it's mostly to the people closest to me. I really have to practice this daily.
You and me both. If we are not mindful of it, it will eat us up! xoxo
I have the most difficult time with this towards certain people in my life. And, does it count if you still feel pain or do not forget it? Like, how do you not have any ill feelings towards your mother whom literrally hates you because of her jealousy and because she's so consumed with satan she sees nothing else? Someone who has verbally abused you all your life, and now continues to do so to family members even though you no longer have any contact with her? A grandmother who cares nothing for her only granchildren and hasn't seen them in 3 years? How do you DO that?
For starters, you are valid in feeling hurt. Forgiveness isn't an instantaneous act of freedom. There needs to be healing. So like a surgeon stiches one stich at a time, so it is with forgiveness. One day at a time to process, heal, and deal with the pain.
Secondly, be careful of the bitterness. Bitterness towards someone who has hurt you is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. It'll be the end of you if you're not careful.
Lastly, I'm praying for you!
Ummm..realizing that God truly forgives and forgets is an overwhelming thought….although, forgiveness comes easy to me…so much to the point where i have been burned by the same people on more than one occassion. I guess after a few times though i start to feel resentment, so maybe thats not forgiveness….which brings me back to God's forgiveness…we "burn" Him soooooo many times and He still forgives us….He is so good to those of us that are sooooo undeserving…
That's exactly what got me thinking about this. I hurt God all the time. All. The. Time.
Yet He forgives me. WHY in the world do I hold resentment towards others???
Oh, there are plenty of times when I choose to forgive, and don't mean it. I choose it because I know I'm supposed to, and because I know I'm forgiven. If I pray for forgiveness for that person and for help in forgiving though, eventually, the feelings follow and the resentment subsides replaced by love (or at least, respect). Sometimes that forgiveness still has to be given from afar, it doesn't mean what has happened might not have altered the relationship, but the forgiveness? Once I choose it and pray long enough, it works. It doesn't always feel good in the beginning though. Thanks for another beautiful post!
Life change doesn't come easy. And no, it doesn't feel good! But neither does working out, or studying, or discipling your child. Buuuut, there is a benefit in that. And THAT is what I strive for 🙂
Thanks for your insights, Deb 😀 [I smiled big because it reminds me of your twitter handle!]
There's sooooo much power when we understand that God has forgiven us and purified us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9) that it has made me realize that I too have to forgive others. And in that path I've found its not easy to forgive, I have sat in awe trying to understand how is it that God has forgiven me even when I know I don't deserve it, and that way I know I too have to forgive and even more than that, I have to bless those who I forgive. That way I surrender my emotions to God and after a while of praying and blessing others, God's love totally fills my heart and next time I see them God is faithful to show His love through me to those who I forgave and not feel any anger or bitterness towards them. I love the way God works in us!! He is SOO faithful!! Thanks for sharing B!
choosing to forgive is like choosing to let poison get drained out of your soul. coz in the end…unforgiveness and bitterness will really only hurt the one who has the grudge.
forgiving is easier said that done… it's often a choice that is made that is raging against our will. it hurts even more when the person is NOT SORRY for what they have done.
Jesus said "she who has been forgiven much loves much"… the key there is realizing how much we''ve been forgiven from…coz if we do it will be easier for us to forgive and love others.
oh wow i just looked back at all your comments and saw that you referred to bitterness as poison as well!
hahaha yey great minds think alike…
I have found that to be able to truly forgive as God calls us to do…their has to be healing. And healing only truly comes through Christ.
When we are able to surrender our hurts to Him then we can forgive… and ask for forgiveness.
My hubby… I feel like a harbor resentment with him so much easier than anyone else. But after 9 months of marriage I am getting so much better!! With God at the center of our marriage, I know that I can learn to really really forgive very quickly!!
This is an area that is really difficult for me. In theory…I say that I forgive evryone including my parents for countless things they have done to me and to themselves. The difficulty I have is dealing with the things that they have done that has lasting effects on me…
In my blogs, I speak about people being accountable for the things that are within their control. I can't control the actions of others against me, but I can control my reaction to it and how I allow it to continue to effect me. As an adult, God holds me responsible for what I do now…I must forgive…just as I ask that he forgives me.
Please keep me in your prayers concerning this area.
i forgave someone this week… but then I wondered, was it really forgiveness? Because truthfully, I had forgotten what I was mad about in the first place.
that is my favorite kind of forgiveness… when God erases the hurt from the past to a point that you can't even remember it anymore 🙂
I'm still waiting for that light bulb moment when I realize that I'm not entitled to God's grace but He extends it because He loves me. I mean I know it in my mind but I'm not sure it has reached the depths of my heart yet because if it did, I would not be wrestling with the same resentful feelings toward particular people who have hurt me. At times I've thought I've forgiven in that I have asked God to give me forgiveness and/or decided within myself that I will forgive; however, it turns out that I haven't let it completely go. I know… I need help! You made a comment above that is ministering to me though. You said, "Bitterness towards someone who has hurt you is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." I know this too well and have realized that bitterness is "killing me softly" (thank you Roberta Flack)… at least spiritually. I got alot to work on but I'm so glad I'm not alone in this. Great post… just perfect for the day!
I know that I need to work on this. Mostly for me, it is hard to forgive people that haven't asked me for forgiveness. I sometimes hold hurt feelings and sometimes even hate for my Father who abandoned us when I was a baby and have not heard a word from in over 17 years. Although he is not in my life, and has not asked me for forgiveness. I know that I need to let go of my anger, and forgive him. This is hard!!!!!!! I struggle with it everyday…maybe even for the rest of my life. I pray that God gives me a heart to pray for him, for his salvation because I don't think he is saved…I don't even know if he is alive…but I know I need to let go and lay it at the foot of Jesus!!!!!!!! 🙂
Love,
MON
I really needed to hear this today. On a personal note I have been a big supporter of "forgive and forget", BUT recently it's just been the FORGET! I always seem to be okay with out of site out of mind. There are some ghosts I need to dig up, ESPECIALLY because God forgave me… AND I absolutely don't deserve it. Thank you for sharing this. Love you friend! KIR.
I'm realizing that I can accept that God forgives me, and I can, with His help, forgive others. But the hardest thing of all is to forgive myself. For failing God, for hurting people I love so much, so badly. But that makes me wonder if I'm truly accepting God's forgiveness. Something I just can't wrap my head around.
How do I find it in me to forgive the two men who molested me, stole my purity, stole my childhood, stole my feeling of worth, stole my trust in men?
I have found piece and forgiveness when I met my Husband, I love him dearly, but can't forgive those awe-full men for what they stole from me and my husband.
I am signing only as M, to protect my privacy as many know me.
i have such a hard time with this. esp with my mom. she chose a husband that was abusive to her and to me-over me. When I finally had the courage to leave, she made me feel like the most terrible person in the world. I had hurt her pride. Now, that she is very ill and doesnt have great cognitive skills, is not with that husband, and trying to be a friend to me…all I see is that woman from my childhood. I have even forgiven that man. I have no resentment towards a man who physically and mentally abused me for ten years. But with my mom…I dont know how. It hurts more I guess because she was supposed to be something different.
I know I need to forgive her-because God forgives me every single day. Thanks for posting about this!
IT took me a looong time to realize that it wasn't God who wasn't forgiving me. It was ME who wasn't forgiving me. It has taken years to START feeling peace. Peace because my God is so big. He died for me knowing that I was going to hurt Him. I will never be able to fathom His grace, but I have peace knowing that it is abundant. We all make serious mistakes, but Satan will do anything to fool you and make you think that you are not good enough for God's forgiveness. Do not be in bondage to the enemy for God has placed a purpose in your life and He will use any circumstance for His glory. Forgive because He already has!
I've forgiven my stepdad and his abuse. Instead of seeing him as the monster I thought he was growing up, I now see him as a broken human, and God really humanized him for me and showed me what love was, not just a feeling, but an action, even forgiveness. Plus, growing older, the resentment was horrible to my health, like a cancer growing in my heart. Who wants to harbor that?
I used to think I was good at forgiving others, being able to let things go. But then I was hurt and betrayed, it's hard to believe that people do these things to each other (and think it is okay…and aren't sorry for it). I have come to terms with the fact that I will be in the process of forgiving these people for the rest of my life. I will always have to work on it.
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